Month Five

How can we possibly have an almost six month old?! That's half of a year!! Oy. It's crazy to me but when my mind isn't wondering how that can be it's enjoying every minute of our fun little boy. At five months Behr hit a point of just being "fun." He is fun and he has fun. He really seems to just enjoy his little life. He laughs a lot, talks a lot, plays a lot, and is just overall a happy little dude. These pictures are some of the highlights of the last month of our growing little Behr.
my favorite things about him at this five months are: (1) when he rolls onto his side when he's falling asleep, (2) his little voice chattering away on the couch next to me or in the back seat of the car, and (3) how he talks in his sleep. oh my heart. those three things just melt me.

helping Dada pick crabs after a crab feast with Grandma and Grandpa Kless

when Behr gets tired he gets slap happy; these were at a baseball game that went into extra innings a few weeks ago; he went to sleep and took a long nap in the Ergo but when he woke up he was very silly!

last weekend we took a family trip to Ikea to look at couches. Behr thought the store was a party! he was giggling and chattering and patting (or trying to eat) everything within reach. I think the catalyst was this: our boy loves to spend time with his Dada. 

this is one of my favorite pictures right now and so perfectly captures our little guy at this stage. during a middle of the night diaper change the other night (in which he usually completely sleeps through) I looked up from grabbing a diaper and Behr had rolled onto his side--his favorite way to sleep right now--was snuggling his blankie, and of course, was half naked. if this kid could not wear pants all day he would be a happy boy all the time. such a boy. 

playing in his bed before nap time. of course half dressed again. a few weeks ago he pulled into a seated position in my lap and pretty much immediately decided he had figured out balancing to sit and it's his usual preferred position to play and hang out these days. I can't believe how "old" it makes him feel to have him sit alone, unsupported and play with his toys. he doesn't crawl yet but can scootch--unfortunately for him he usually scootches backwards. playtime usually looks like him sitting 'til he drops or throws his toy, flopping over  onto his stomach to reach it and then "accidentally" scootching farther and farther away from it and becoming very angry that his toy isn't near him anymore. it's a hard life being a little Behr sometimes.

the pool opened last weekend and, as we hoped, our little guy is in love with the pool. I don't know what Dada would have done if he wasn't. as soon as we walk onto the pool deck he starts bouncing and kicking his legs. he doesn't need to be gradually warmed up to the pool each time either; just plunked right in and he immediately starts splashing, kicking, and trying to get his face in the water. crazy kid. this sweet face was when he was taking a break from the pool and telling Mama about all the splashing that he was watching the big kids do.

going in to pick up this little bunch of cuddles in the morning couldn't be more of a joy. we love you Behr!!

Mother's Day

It's funny. When I went to write this post I felt like I needed to search for some grandiose quote or something to fully capture how my heart feels about being a mommy especially a mommy to my little Behr. But really there simply aren't any words that can fully capture motherhood for me. It's been everything and more I dreamed of: more work, more fun, more instinctive, more confusing (mostly what on earth my body is doing), and quite simply more wonderful than anyone could have told me or prepared me for.

To me motherhood is in so many ways hope. I hoped and prayed and waited to be a mommy. I trusted and waited. I wrestled and waited. I cried and waited. And really, as long as it felt in my heart, I didn't actually wait that long; I only tasted what so many people experience in waiting. God was kind and merciful and sovereignly knew when it was time and gave us our little Behr. Because of that (and probably because he's only five months old), I almost always see the promise of God in him. Quite honestly--and I know I'm speaking as someone who has an overall "easy baby" who usually sleeps and usually laughs more than he cries and whose biggest health challenge is seemingly endless sore gums--on Behr's worst days, the days he cries and cries and screams and arches his back and looks at me with tears on his cheeks seeming to ask why I can't fix his pains or frustrations, I am more grateful for him and more blessed to be his mommy than any other day. (That's not to say I don't go to bed exhausted on those days and silently beg for him to sleep even for half an hour so I can get a ten minute nap or moment to myself.)
I still cannot believe he's real. I simply can't. There are moments I look at him and I'm just in awe that God would give us this little boy as our son, that we get to hold him and squish him and clean up after him and burp him and simply love on him in it's various forms for the rest of his days. I know that some day he will make me so mad I'll go sit in the bathroom to try and collect myself and keep from yelling at him or pulling my hair out. I know that some day he'll be an awkward, big footed, smelly teenager testing his mom and dad's limits and sanity. I know that some day, Lord-willing, he will leave to be a man on his own. But for every one of those days I want to remain grateful. And hopeful of all that God has already done in providing him and all that God will do to continue teaching me to trust Him to be his mother and trust him to his Creator.

Little Behr Malachi you speak to me hope. I love you son.

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune--without the words,

And never stops at all. 

--Dickinson

Five Whole Months

Five months with the sweetest little boy I've ever known: where is the time going?! There are mornings nearly every week--and sometimes nap times--where when I get Behr out of his bed he just looks "older." Like in the few hours he spent sleeping he grew up on me. It breaks my heart a little bit and yet makes me so excited for the fun to come of having a little boy instead of a baby. I feel like I know this little guy pretty well right now and can tell when he's sad or when he's hurting or when he's just being silly but I can't wait to watch and see what he's like as he grows into a little boy--and to see what kind of toddler he is. Hopefully an adventurous one that isn't too destructive. ;-) Here's a few favorite pictures from the last few weeks.

Doesn't he just look like such a big guy? Knocked out at nap time in his cool clothes. The Ewok in the top right corner starts every bed time or nap time upright at his side and somehow ends every bed time or nap time flung to the opposite corner and usually with is little cloak torn off. Behr likes to pat him as he falls asleep and apparently at some point either the Ewok comes alive or Behr gets aggressive. 

Mondays are our "Dada Days" and we usually spend the whole day together as a family having little adventures like trips to Home Depot or the library or out to lunch or picnics. We've almost always included a trip to the swings across the street on nice days too--and then often make other trips with Little A as well. Behr loves to be outside and he loves the swings. His little legs kick furiously and he giggles and spits at the air. He really can't get much cuter.

Behr's biggest accomplishment and goal in life each day is to get his toes into his mouth. Apparently they're the perfect chew toy for his sore gums. He gets this very proud look in his eye when he manages to get his toes in and chews and chews and gets them all drooly. Drool is the defining feature of his world these days. He soaks through his clothes and my clothes and anything he gets his hands on. When he's been in his bumbo seat for a while it's usually coated in slobber. Deeeelicious.

And we officially have a mover! Behr's not big on rolling over. He can and does but he's not too concerned about it. (He typically only rolls over "without thinking about it" like when I lay him down on his tummy he'll do a quick roll but if I put him back on his tummy he'll just play there for 15-20 minutes rather than roll again.) What he does do is scootch. Be it on his back or on his tummy he wiggles all over the place now. Many times at bed time if he's having a hard time settling down we'll go in and find him jammed into the corner of his crib. He's a silly little bug and doesn't yet seem to do it because he wants to get somewhere or get something. The months to come are only going to be filled with more realizations that he can control his own movement. It's insane to watch a person grow up.

Baby Buddies

One of Behr's favorite people in the whole wide world is Audrey. She's his little buddy. She teaches him all kinds of important things and helps with his diaper changes, paci, and all kinds of mischief already. I really can't wait to watch them be friends as they get older and see what kind of trouble they get into. I mean seriously. Look at that smile in the picture below: Meeps can do no wrong in Little Behr's eyes.

In the early, early morning hours last Saturday, while Behr was sleeping in his little bed, Audrey became a big sister. I got to be there to welcome Edith into the world and it was once again one of the most incredible and amazing experiences of my life. I think I could have a dozen children of my own and witness a hundred children be born and never get over the wonder of life. It's incredible.
Janet had a fast and furious hospital labor (I barely know what to call it considering she was pretty much in labor for weeks after being on bedrest for over a month to keep her little girl from coming early) but all I could think the entire time was how kind of God it was that she was coming then and not a few hours later since Dre and I were heading out of town on Saturday and I sure didn't want to miss meeting my best friend's baby. Waiting for her to go into labor and watching her labor after having a child of my own was a whole new experience. I told Janet at one point I didn't know how to pray for her to be in that sort of pain after knowing how it felt (or at least what I experienced; I'm sure it's different for everyone). But thankfully it went insanely fast and I was home and back in bed before Dre even left for work that morning. Before we headed out of town Dre wanted to go meet the baby and of course Behr had to meet his new friend.

Behr is the perfect age right now for his new little friend. He stares and stares at her and sure isn't really sure what to think but is very intrigued especially when she waves her hands or legs around. Eventually he was more attracted to the pattern on her blanket and tried to steal it away and chew on it. Silly kid.

Janet is "like family" to me. She is truly the friend who sticks closer then a brother and I cannot imagine life without her. The Remsnyders are very special to us Klesses. We love you little family and love watching your family grow. Lord-willing these three will be friends and we parents will survive their misadventures together. If their personalities continue the way they are I'm pretty sure Audrey will be the ring leader, Behr her happy accomplish and the one who does her dirty work, and Edith will just gracefully follow along and keep them from getting into too much trouble.

A Third of a Year

What??! A baby who is a third of a year old? Four months of this little man being in our arms and his giggles and cries filling our house?? How did that happen?! I have no idea but we are more in love with him and more amazed at watching him grow and learn about his world every day.

Oh those arms. His little arms have been a favorite of mine since day one. Though back then they were skinny and hairy and now they've got sweet soft little pudge that I love to squeeze.

Last week our little man rolled from front to back for the first time. I lay him down for "tummy time" and he immediately rolled over. But the stubborn dude hasn't done it again since. He doesn't mind "tummy time" as much now and likes to chatter while lying on his blanket. He almost always winds up spitting up while on his tummy even if it's been hours since he ate. Go figure? // His new toy is an exersaucer and I'm pretty much in awe of  how he's changed even in 24 hours. One morning he played in it and pretty much just "hung" there and batted at his toys. The next morning we plopped him in and he steadied himself with his feet, attempted to "stand," and hit whatever toy had his attention. Over and over and over. I still haven't gotten over observing that dramatic change in his development. My little boy is growing up!

Sweet boy napping in a big bed. He's such a little man: he loves to have his pants off and onesies undone. If everything else fails it's typically a guaranteed way to soothe his fussies.

This past weekend we headed up to Western New York to visit Andree's grandma just outside Buffalo. The many faces of our road trip are captured above. Poor guy tried as hard as he could but teething + driving through mountains (aka elevation) + hours and hours in the car wasn't his favorite adventure ever. He did great interacting with new faces and gave lots of smiles and chatter to Great Grandma Kless and Uncle Dave and Aunt Diane. He survived the hours in the car though and of course won't remember the "trauma." His reaction and behavior when we finally got home Monday night were almost worth the entire trip. He was SO happy. We set his car seat down and he immediately started kicking and rocking his seat. When we took him out and handed him to Kristen and Caleb he started chattering and telling them all about his trip. He'd lean back, look around, laugh, and then nuzzle into Caleb. Until bedtime he just talked and talked and talked. Poor sweet boy. I love him and his little developing personality so much.

Little Behr, we could not love you more. Four months in and being your parents has been the biggest joy in our lives and no matter what our nights with you look like (sometimes only waking up once, sometimes waking up three times to feed and comfort you) we wake up each morning excited to get you out of your bed and spend our day playing and being with you. We are so grateful for you son. So, so grateful.

15 Weeks of Our Little Behr

Life with our little Behr only gets better. He wakes up each morning more fun and sweeter every day. (Note: that's every morning when he wakes up. When he wakes up at nap time it's rough. He's very like his mama. ;-)) At three months he's so much more interactive and are so much more in love with him. The most recent highlights are...


The Swings. Behr had his first adventure on the swings with Aunt Titi and Little A a few weeks ago on one of these unseasonably warm March days we've had this month. Audrey kept telling us she was going to take Behr to the swings but any other time he's gone he's stayed in the stroller. I guess this time he and Audrey convinced Aunt Titi he was big enough to try it out too. ;-) Word is he loved it even if he wasn't totally sure about it and sat and stared and kicked his little feet.

The Outdoors. The obvious advantage of this gorgeous weather has been lots of time outside for all of us. Behr seems to love going for walks or sitting out on the deck with me or Dre. He fights hard to stay awake on walks so he can lick the wind and squeal at the tree branches. Love this little dude. He's even helping his dada to 'love the outdoors.' ;-)

Gravelly Point. For Dada's birthday we had our first family picnic at Gravelly Point and introduced Behr to Dre's favorite hobby of airplane watching. He wasn't too into it and definitely found it a little overwhelming and scary but tried his best to be brave for Dada's sake. ;-) I know we'll be back for many more picnics and family times in the days to come. Behr also went to his first museum the Monday before when we spent the day with our friends Andrew & Cassie at the Udvar Hazy Air & Space Museum. He was a perfect baby that day away from home from 10:45-7pm and only fussed when he was hungry. Some days we're just spoiled.

Moves. Well this picture doesn't really capture it unless you were sitting at the angle I was when I took it but little man is starting to figure out controlling his movements. Some mornings when I got to get him up after crib time I find him moved 90-degrees or more from how I left him. He wiggles his little legs and pushes his little belly all over the place. He likes to wiggle his hips out of his bouncy seat if left not strapped in. I let him test out his jumperoo the other afternoon and he was pretty sure he was the man making himself bounce and sway in the doorway in it. (Until he got hiccups and scared himself silly.) He also gets pretty impressed with himself when he can manage to grab hold of the spoon or plate or whatever is on the table in front of him when he's sitting on someone's lap. It's so neat to watch him already start to grow up into a little boy in these ways. It's just amazing to watch someone learn like this.

More Books. Behr is still sweetly captivated by reading picture books together. His favorites are Frank Asch books (below) which I'm guessing is because they're big illustrations with lots of contrast on a page. He'll often kick and squeal as they're being read to him. He loves pretty much anything with good pictures so Dada's had fun introducing him to books like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie too. Reading a book or two together every day is one of my favorite things about having this little boy.

Teething. Behr is looking to be a child prodigy. I mean we're his parents so clearly we're biased but most evenings he can be found looking like this...

or this...

Poor little dude is teething "early" at 3 1/2 months. He just wants to be special I guess. (3 months is the early side of average I suppose and his daddy set him up for it by getting his first tooth at 5 months.) His mean ol' teeths make him rather miserable in the evenings. Some nights it just means he wants to gnaw and gnaw and gnaw and release buckets of drool. Other nights he's rather inconsolable without a little Tylenol and extra snuggles to numb the pain. It's so very sad to not be able to help him much or explain to him why he hurts but we know he'll survive it and that we all had to go through it and none of us remember the apparent agony we went through having our teeth first push through our gums. He's got the white spots, the epic drool, the need to gnaw, and all the other "signs" of teething. I'm just hoping, for his sake, that whatever tooth or teeth need to push through get through soon so he can have a break from his evenings of misery.

Pooh Bear & Snuggles. The other side of his super sad teething phase is a snuggly little guy. About a month ago he started being attached to his Pooh Bear and soft blankets. When he's sleepy--or needs the reminder that he's sleepy and it's nap time--a little snuggle with Pooh or a blanket has him drifting right off. The other morning he put himself down for a nap by reaching over and stealing my blanket and rubbing his face into it and clutching it with his fists. It's just about my favorite thing ever to witness--and definitely a life saver on his fussy days to have him learning to self-soothe.

What a gift this little guy is. We knew he would be but he's better than we ever could have dreamed of and we are so grateful!

1565 Weeks

Dear Dada, Mama says you're turning thirty years old today. I have no idea what that means. Apparently it's 1565 weeks which is a lot. I know what weeks means because I am many weeks old. (Can you believe how many weeks I am already? 14. That's a lot.) But I think it's cool that you're many, many weeks old. I hope when I get to be 1565 weeks just like you I'm as cool as you are. You're the coolest person I know. I love to listen to you talk to me and tell jokes with you. I love the way your beard tickles me and that you are the most cozy person to snuggle up on. I love when you read to me and the books you pick out. I love how you take care of me even when you're pretty much still asleep and do crazy things. I love that you want to take care of me and protect me and help teach me things.

Happy birthday Dada! I love you lots and lots and can't wait 'til you and I get to spend many more weeks together making memories and being Daddy and Son together.

PS Mommy said to tell you that one of the coolest things you'll get to do in your thirties that you never got to do in your twenties is take me to lots and lots of baseball games. I can't wait!! 28 days until our first game!

8 Years

Still two years short of a decade but it already feels like a lifetime! As of today Dre and I have been together, falling in love together, living the boring details of life together, being patient with each other, arguing and fighting together, having adventures together, being more and more of each other's best friend, for eight whole years. I can't believe what started eight years ago in my parents' living room, led us to a marriage, took us to Oklahoma for four months, and now finds us sitting in our own little home with a little one in the nursery.

My love, I say it a lot but it's true, I love you more and more each day. Here's to many, many more anniversaries and memories in the years to come. Leetle hug, beeeeeg kiss!

// I don't know where I'd be

Without you here with me

Life with you makes perfect sense

You're my best friend //

Little Reader

One of the things I looked forward to in the years waiting for our little man was reading books to him. I had a range of books all picked out for him from Little Oink to Farmer's Boy and a good smattering of books and topics in between. It's been so much fun to snuggle him up when he's fighting a nap or as part of our developing bedtime routine to read him a book. Books with a white background and colorful pictures on the page get him cooing right back at the pages which we're hoping means he's going to be an avid reader. ;-) I've made him an Amazon wishlist to keep track of the books I want to add to his (and his future siblings') book collection in the months and years to come. I had said prior to being pregnant that where other moms need budgets so they don't spend all the family's finances on baby clothes I was going to need one for books. I'm not sure that I don't need a budget for buying cute clothes (actually I think the grandmas need one! :-P) but I sure do need one for books. It's just too fun to buy a little book to read to my little boy on my lap.

Behr reading about bears.

Reading with Dada before bedtime.

Many of our boy's books have a common theme: dragons!!

But only the cute, cuddley, friendly kind of course!